No Bra, No Problem

Earlier this week I visited Helena High School, in Helena MT, to join in a movement called "No Bra, No Problem" / #nobranoproblem. The movement was started because a young woman, a senior at HHS was dress coded by administration and sent home for not wearing a bra. She was not wearing anything that should have ever caused any issues with other dress codes (too revealing, too tight, too short, etc.) and there is NOT a section or rule in the HHS handbook that says ANYTHING about females being required to wear bras or like undergarments. Female students of HHS (and other females that are not students) then created and joined a Facebook event which encouraged women to go bra-less in support of the young woman and women's rights in general. The movement was also designed to encourage women of all ages and body types to be comfortable in their own bodies and with the way they look. A local news station covered the story and within hours, several news stations across the state and country had also covered and published the story.

Now, I want you all to know that I do believe this country has come very far in just a matter of years concerning women's rights and respect for women. However, I do believe we have further to go and this instance is just one example of how and why. I understand that there are people who don't believe the same way I do and I respect that, but I would ask you all to please state your opinions and beliefs in a respectful manner, rather than bash myself and females like me.
I have heard and seen horrible things about this movement posted all over Facebook, in private messages, and other social media sites. I have seen things like, "this is why rape happens," "you're all just uneducated and ignorant," "this is just another excuse to be sluts," "why do you think women aren't taken seriously," "this is a waste of time," "there are bigger issues," and other extreme variations of these. I'm sorry, but I will not put up with that. At all, ever. SO, let me take the most common arguments and offensive comments and address them one at a time.

1. "This is why rape happens"
     False. Rape does not happen because women choose not to wear a bra. How ignorant are you? Rape happens because a lack of morals in society. Rape happens because men (and yes, sometimes women) lack humanity and are filled with simple evil that leads them to committing a heinous crime that is rape. Rape is not, and never will be, the victims fault. Rape simply is the act of FORCING an individual to have NON-CONSENSUAL sex. If rape was the victims fault and was something that simply not wearing a bra could effect, or dressing a certain way, or being around certain people, it would no longer be rape, but simply sex. Because if I acknowledged that by not wearing a bra I was asking for individuals to attempt to have sex with me, or have sex with me, it would be consensual and no longer rape.

2. "Women should wear bras. Young women should be made to wear bras as it is modest and polite, among other things"
     False. Again. Women did not typically wear bras until after the 1930s. Even then, very few did through the 1970s-2000s and yet modesty and social acceptance was well maintained by a vast majority. Bras have also been shown to be very unhealthy for women and any woman knows how uncomfortable they tend to be. What is a bra? And what does it achieve? To shape breasts? To hide nipples? Because if that is the only purpose you can offer me, than I feel that men with visible breast tissue and nipples should be required to wear a bra as well. Also, how "modest" are bras? How many of them are designed to lift and present cleavage in sexual ways? All of them. So how modest is that? People frequently enjoy getting into debates over how they can never really trust a woman's breast size because of the ways a bra can manipulate the appearance of breasts. First of all, why is that any of your business? And secondly, not wearing bras would solve this problem and you should be thanking us.

3. "You're all uneducated and ignorant"
     I am an 18 year-old, mixed-ethnicity (white/American Native) woman who was raised in a lower-middle-class family. I have worked since the age of 15, I graduated high school with a 4.0, and I am currently in college pursuing a PhD in Political Science and a Masters in Psychology. After I achieve these degrees I plan on furthering my education in Law. I belong to the Honor's Society at my college and along with being a full time student, I successfully work more than one job. I have worked for the State of Montana, and have received acknowledgments for my academic, athletic, and artistic achievements. I consider myself WELL educated and WELL informed, nowhere near uneducated or ignorant. I have spoken to many of the individuals that are closely related to the NBNP movement, and I would not consider any of these women anything close to uneducated or ignorant. I personally believe that anyone foolish enough to say that such a movement -encouraging women to uplift each other and stand up for themselves- to be full of uneducated and ignorant participants, would be beyond uneducated and ignorant and would be just down-right stupid.

4. "Why do you think women aren't taken seriously"
     I sure hope this wasn't designed to be a rhetorical question. Women aren't taken seriously because of misogynist pigs like yourself. Women aren't taken seriously because parents have not been teaching their children to respect or take women as seriously as they take men for decades. Women aren't taken seriously because we have been pushed aside and taken for granted for the better part of everyone's life and we are slowly starting to work against that. Women aren't taken seriously because we have massive political figures like Donald Trump that are set on making women less than human beings and take sport in treating them like such. Women are not taken less seriously because we refuse to wear bras, or fit into your social misjudgments about how we should behave or act simply because it'll please you. Women aren't taken less seriously because of what we don't do, but because of what society isn't capable of being, and that would be: respectful toward women.

5. "This is just another excuse to be sluts"
     You are a prime example of two things I have already covered in this post: rape and why women aren't taken seriously. Need I go further? No, but I will. If I (or any female) needed or WANTED an excuse to dress or act like a slut, BELIEVE ME, not wearing a bra wouldn't be the first place we started. There are plenty of other, and more effective ways, to be slutty and girls would actually be violating dress codes that actually exist.

6. "This is a waste of time"
     I am sorry that you believe that women's rights (which fall under people's rights) is a waste of time. I didn't realize that I am part of a communistic society... Oh wait, I'm not. If you honestly believe this is a waste of time or "below you," go find something else to do or some other piece of news or happenings to follow. I would rather have you far away from this business than being an annoying commentator. If you truly believed it was a waste of time in the first place, you would have moved along and never would have said something in the first place. So next time, just keep your mouth shut and move along.

I believe I have covered most of everything that I was most bombarded with over the past few days. If there is anything any of you would like to say or add, feel free to comment or message me. I am always up to a good discussion or friendly debate. I encourage you all to support this movement, as I see it as an excellent opportunity to stand by women as they fight for the right to be comfortable and confident in their natural bodies as well as all young individuals to see that they do not have to be bullied into rules that don't exist simply because someone says they do. If you simply cannot, I respect your decision, but ask you to not make rude, degrading, and shaming comments about myself or others. Remember, everyone is entitled to their constitutional rights, even if you do not agree with them yourself. Thank you for your time, best wishes, and until next time.

Hello, my Name is: Identity Crisis

“The identity crisis… occurs in that period of the life cycle when each youth must forge for himself some central perspective and direction, some working unity, out of the effective remnants of his childhood and the hopes of his anticipated adulthood.” – Erik Erikson

               Before I dive deep into the main point of this post, I need you (the reader), to understand that I have been fighting with writing this. I was asked several months ago to write a piece based on “what it’s like to be [me]”. The requester was essentially asking what it’s like to be a Product of Divorce (POD), Fatherless Female Child (FFC), and a Member of a Mixed Family (MOMF). To be honest, I never wanted to write this. I never envisioned myself giving away the details of my life, my circumstances. Funnily enough, it was for that exact reason, I saw I needed to write this; not wanting to give out life details is a side effect of being those three things.

So, I decided I will go through each of my “circumstances”, separately. I will give the side effects of each situation and at the end I will add those effects together to give you a more clear understanding of who I am.

Being a POD is very difficult, so forgive me if I have a difficult time explaining us. We are good actors/actresses, we learned at (generally) a young age, how to live with and appease to different parents. Feeling the need to emotionally support one parent or the other, at all times, we learned how to wear a mask and hide our own emotions. 60% of people who are POD at a young age, grow up and have trouble with social relationships, while a lot of others get along with virtually anyone. We are people-pleasers, we have above average work competence, we complete projects whole-heartedly because we know what happens if something is only done part-way, and we are some of the most loving people in the world. As I said earlier, growing up we took it upon ourselves to make sure our parents were always OK and because of that, we become extremely hospitable and automatically take on a caregiver mentality. We show that same love and affection to our siblings, we support them through hell and back, never stopping to think about what it might mean for ourselves. We’re selfless, remarkably attuned to other’s feelings, and can relate closely to a variety of situations. We prepare for the worst, and consequently have a myriad of fears. We expect to fail, and to have people fail us, we suffer from fear of loss, because as a child we most likely experienced abandonment. Typically, our relationships end because of our tendencies to self-destruct when something becomes too “normal” or “routine”. We didn’t ever learn to appreciate consistency and because of that, we either fear change, or can’t get enough of it. The first things a POD will look for is flaws, we can’t help it, it’s a self-preservation act. We go off our “gut feeling”, because our realistic minds have been conditioned to make accurate judgements about anyone, immediately. We are best at questioning things, over thinking, and passive aggression. We have cynical beliefs about love, because we have never healed from what happened between our parents. If you break up with a POD, expect one of two things; either they will keep in contact and be really good at being friends, or they will despise you and try to make your life horrible. Note that this isn’t because there is something wrong with them, it’s because they never saw a healthy relationship and the relationship that they did witness, followed one of those two paths. POD LOVE confrontation. Seriously. We look at confrontation as a way to finally be heard and to improve ourselves, we want to be the best we can be, so nobody has a reason to betray and leave us. We like to be control freaks, and this is also a self-preservation act; we can’t handle things getting out of control because we were forced into chaos as children. Understand that if we have self-esteem issues, anxiety, depression, high levels of stress, paranoia, and like things, it isn’t because we’re “attention whores”, we’re Products of Divorce, and those are just the side effects of being so.

FFC are complex, interesting, women. We need to have a fun, entertaining, light life, because we’ve struggled with darkness and depression too long. Our motivation to succeed is incredible, we will literally do anything to get somewhere in our lives, which is why you get girls with “daddy issues”. When you meet a FFC, you will notice she is a fighter. She thrives off of being an independent, free, mature, fiery spirit. She can look into the face of anyone and immediately connect with them; there is no limit of depression or hurt that she doesn’t understand. She is the girl that spits sarcasm and wit without thinking about it; this is because she suffers from being bitter and has spent years building up walls, with no intention of letting anyone close enough to tear them down. We expect only the most realistic things and won’t allow anyone to fool us with “sugar-coating”. We don’t need your pity, we are strong enough to deal with things, we have been doing just fine up to this point. When someone asks about our family we won’t flinch, we have our “script” memorized and can recite it without needing to swallow our tears. This took years, but we’ve had to explain our existence plenty of times. Most FFC self-depreciate, we have convinced ourselves that we’re worthless, and that’s why our own father didn’t stick around. Every FFC will tell you we dislike physical contact. Hugging is on our long list of “least favorite things”, and if we are willing to hug you, take notice to how monumental that is. We don’t ask for a lot, we have learned to do things for ourselves, but if we decide you’re important enough to hug or talk to, note that this is us trying to learn how to trust. When you talk about your father or family, please don’t be offended if we look away, get uncomfortable, or our eyes glaze over. Either we find it uncomfortable to talk about, because we can’t relate, or we are simply perplexed by a relationship we never got to understand or enjoy.

MOMF will surprise you in a lot of ways. Unlike most siblings, we typically haven’t been living with one another for our entire lives and that can cause irritation and constant competition. We function more like a team, with our own responsibilities and roles. Once we learn how we “fit” together, we can function in perfect harmony and cooperate excellently. MOMF don’t like being pushed to do things certain ways; we are constantly struggling to have our own places in life and not wanting to be compared to others, so we make sure everyone knows where we stand. In the beginning, we feel alienated, unwanted, and over-looked. Holidays and special occasions are uncomfortable, not fun, because we don’t want one family feeling as if we love them any less than our other family. Studies have shown that when children are introduced to a mixed family before the age of 10, they adjust the best. Children ages 10 to 14 are the least likely to adjust well, or at all, and will be the most likely to act out. Teens 15+ typically don’t need to be pushed to adjust, they either will or they won’t, nothing is going to change their minds. Being a MOMF teaches patience and compassion, builds friendships that will last forever, and can frequently result in adults who know how to better accept people.

Putting these three things together will create a cocktail better off left alone. I am an excellent actress, I don’t trust a single soul, I thrive off of confrontation, I am an experienced caregiver, and I have seen the deepest, darkest pits of depression. I do my best to achieve better than perfect, I am a control freak, and I would die for any of my siblings, even the step-ones. I don’t joke about understanding people’s pain, I have prepared myself for the worst, and I expect to fail at everything I do. I have given up on the notion of love, I would rather hear about your dad than have to wonder about mine, and I dislike when my life doesn’t constantly change gears. I’m ready for anyone in my life to leave, but I also fear that possibility. I first notice flaws, and I have avoided people after speaking to them once, because of my "gut feeling”. I question everyone and everything. I can frequently be passive-aggressive, but for the most part I’m very blunt and forward. I get stressed out easily, anxiety attacks are the norm for me, and I am more than paranoid. My life needs to be exciting, I need to constantly be having more fun and experiencing new things so I don’t have time to remember my past. I am a fighter, I am independent, and I am more mature than others my age. I have built walls of anger, pride, and bitterness and will not let anyone overcome them. I hate hugs. Don’t pity me, don’t sugar coat things, and don’t lie to me. I won’t ask you for things, but I will help you do just about anything. I have found my position in my family and I would much rather brag to you about my siblings’ achievements and positions. I will not be pushed around, and I am very competitive. At the end of the day, I am exactly who I am supposed to be, and I wouldn’t give up my identity for the world… as messed up as it may be.

It is, but it isn't. A Post on Double Standards.

               By now everyone is aware that we live in the 21^st Century, I hope. Most everyone understands the ideas of homosexuality, transgender, bisexuality, divorce, feminism, weight-shaming, gender-shaming, religion-shaming, terrorism, domestic abuse, child abuse, gun control, sex trafficking, racism, etc. and the effects that each of these have on the world around us. However, I feel as if most of the, 21^st Century “advances” or “new-normalcies”, come with horrible double standards, but spread a message of some diluted form of “freedom”.

For instance, by now everyone has probably read about Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner and his/her transformation. At the same time, everyone has probably heard how brave or, admirable or, inspirational he/she is and I don’t see it that way.                That makes me a bigot.

 Now, if Mr./Mrs. Jenner were to look at me and say, “I don’t understand why she chooses to stay the sex she was born, that’s not very brave”, it wouldn’t make him/her anything, just a person with an opinion. Why? Why is it that by reading one sentence you cringe and think, “Oooh, I can’t wait to see the comments she gets”, but by reading the other you don’t even look twice at what I wrote? Double standards. Welcome to the 21^st Century, the Social Era, where toes can be stepped on in one breath, but you can be liberal and accepted in the next.

  

Okay, let’s try another one, because I know you’re all blood thirsty for another reason to hate me. How about weigh-shaming, that’s an incredibly popular one, for several reasons. As Meghan Trainor so creatively put it, “Yeah it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two. But I can shake it, shake it like I’m supposed to do. ‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase. All the right junk in all the right places. I see the magazines working that Photoshop. We know that sh*t ain’t real. Come on now, make it stop. If you got beauty beauty just raise ‘em up. ‘Cause every inch of you is perfect. From the bottom to the top. Yeah, my momma she told me don’t worry about your size. She says, boys like a little more booty to hold at night. You know I won’t be no stick-figure silicone Barbie doll. So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along.” I happen to think this song is catchy, and that it spreads a good message of accepting yourself the way you are; unless that way is stick-figure.

Here’s the thing, people have a great habit of judging off of the first things they see. For instance, someone looks at another person who is overweight and thinks, “eating disorder”. That same person then looks at someone who is underweight and thinks, “eating disorder”. Daily we see ads and read stories about how important it is not to make judgements or bully people if they are overweight. What we don’t hear or see is the same thing goes for people who are struggling with being underweight. I personally have been “shamed”, so to speak, for my weight. Standing at 5’8”, and weighing in at 104lbs., I try not to get irritated when someone says something to me about my weight or what they think. I’m not supposed to get irritated, I’m supposed to be grateful that someone notices how small I am and be happy with my weight. If I’m not, and I bring up how someone is weight-shaming me, I’m ungrateful, or ridiculous. Sound like another double standard?

               Let’s just keep on moving to the next one, racism. We all know what it means and have heard countless stories and examples. So please note that if you find what I am about to say racist, then you will be able to see my exact point of this being a double standard.

February is Black History Month, May is Asian Heritage Month and Jewish American Heritage Month, September is National Hispanic American Heritage Month, and November is Native American Heritage Month. So why don’t we have a Caucasian History Month? Because that would be racist and we should know better. I don’t say this because I don’t appreciate the months that have been dedicated to certain ethnicities, but because I find a very significant double standard. So now what am I? Oh yes, racist. Forgive me, I just don’t see why we are encouraged to accept people who are different colors, or speak different languages, but are discouraged from being proud of being white? Why can’t we be happy for being any or all? Isn’t that the American thing?

               I have two more I would like to talk about, so bear with me. Next on my list, homosexuality. If you have been reading my blog for any period of time, you should remember I wrote a post about this a while ago. I also did a piece about Feminism which I unfortunately don’t have the time to cover, but please check them both out and let me know what you think! Anyway, homosexuality has very recently been accepted and pushed to be accepted by more people, worldwide. The idea of same-sex couples adopting children is another topic that has been trending as well. If I were to sit here and talk about how monumental and wonderful that is, very few people would have any problems with it. However, if I were to talk about how wonderful it is to see a heterosexual marriage and adoption, I would nicely fit right back into that “bigot” title from earlier, along with a nice “homophobic”. So basically, I am allowed to accept the idea of homosexual marriage and family, but not heterosexual marriage and family, I don’t want to be a homophobic bigot.

               Lastly, the topic of religion-shaming. With 19 major religions, subdivided into 270 large religions, it’s easy for every individual to find and choose a religion. Recently, it was reported that the U.S embassy in Indonesia removed their July 4^th celebration in order to avoid offending Muslims during their holy month of Ramadan. Did you catch that? Yes, the U.S embassy decided to celebrate the 4^th of July an entire month early so the Muslims in Indonesia wouldn’t be offended. This is supposed to be a respectful gesture, something done without question, but do you think the gesture will be returned? No, America and Americans are literally looked upon as Satan by Muslims. The 4^th of July isn’t a small holiday like, Arbor Day, this is the day we celebrate and remember the struggles and sacrifices put into making our Country the best, free country in the world. Meanwhile, Muslims are imprisoning our soldiers, our journalists, and cutting their heads off, not showing respect for our religious holidays. Except, we shouldn’t be that judgmental and disrespectful; it’s their right to worship, not ours. Right?

               Now that I’ve covered some of my biggest double standard pet peeves, be on the look-out for more. You never know where you’re going to find them and by recognizing them, you’ll be more informed and likely to make better decisions. Of course, by now you can also see what a ridiculous, ungrateful, homophobic, racist, judgmental, disrespectful, bigot I am. Sorry, not sorry. It is what you make it folks, feel free to share and tell me what you think! Have a great week!

Pink For Cheyloh

Plenty of people receive bad news every day, but how many of those people are expecting the changes that will happen because of that news? On Friday, May 1st, 2015, my "auntie" Cheyloh Eveland was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. Cheyloh is a mother to six beautiful children and an amazing wife to a very supportive husband. Walking into the oncologist office on Friday morning, Cheyloh had no idea what she would be told. Add that to the fact that her daughter was turning six that day, the mood was anything but pleasant. When Cheyloh was told that she had a very aggressive form of breast cancer and that chemo would have to begin immediately, her life was turned upside down. All because one piece of bad news.

As someone who knows Cheyloh and someone who has seen other people battle this disease, I know that it is completely possible for her to win her fight against cancer. Even so, the Eveland family is going to need various assistance and support as they make this journey and fight this fight. Please consider supporting Cheyloh Eveland in one (or more) of three ways.

1. Cheyloh's Helping Hands -
 My Cancer Circle is a service that helps caregivers experience the strength found in numbers. Anyone can volunteer to become a part of this circle and participate in delivering meals, babysitting, cleaning, shopping, and other related activities in order to help alleviate a burden for Cheyloh as she is going through extensive chemo therapy. To become part of Cheyloh's Helping Hands, please contact me personally and I will guide you in the right direction.

2. GoFundMe -
GoFundMe is a fundraiser online, designed to allow anyone to make a monetary donation to families and individuals in need. The money raised for Cheyloh will be used for medical and living expenses and will give Cheyloh's family peace of mind that they desperately need at this time. If you would like to make a donation of any amount, please visit www.gofundme.com/pinkforcheyloh. You can choose to make an anonymous donation or you can include your name and a short note of encouragement, whichever you are more comfortable with.

3. Prayer -
Definitely the greatest form of help, prayer is a powerful thing and is greatly appreciated by the Eveland family! If you are living out of town and cannot assist with Cheyloh's Helping Hands, or you aren't in a position to give monetarily, PLEASE take the time to pray for Cheyloh as often as you can. As a family who firmly believes in prayer, the Eveland's and those working to assist them, are grateful for every prayer uttered, by any who are considerate enough to offer them.

Thank you so much to all of those who have put in the time to fight alongside of Cheyloh and her family, thank you to those who have yet to help but will, and thank you to God Who has given us such a beautiful woman who has blessed many, and Who will preform a perfect work in her life for His glory. May God be glorified and the Eveland's be blessed and assisted in this fight!

AN UPDATE AS OF 10-27-2015: Cheyloh is in remission!! After several months with battling Triple Negative Breast Cancer, Cheyloh has been found to be cancer free. Unfortunately, there is still a very high likelihood that her cancer will return (80% for two years), so prayers are still greatly needed. Cheyloh will also have surgeries done, so please be in prayer for those as well.

Keep In Mind

Before I get into the main point of this piece, I have to make it known that I am not pleased with what I have to write. I don’t typically like requesting favors, but I also feel like this piece – and the request in entails – shouldn’t be a request for a favor, but a request for common courtesy.

Now, as I write I will do my best to be very exact and careful with what I say. Not for my own benefit, but for those of you who seem inclined to picking and choosing what you think I am saying or trying to say.

As many of you are aware, when I began my weekly (semi-weekly now) “Opinion Pieces”, I was very hesitant to actually publish them. I was hesitant for several reasons, many of which have forced me to publish this post today. I made it a point to say that these posts weren’t because of any one person, and they weren’t based on the beliefs of any one person, except me. I stated that the posts would be made of information that I had gathered and believed to be true, and that I would give proper reasoning behind my beliefs. I asked for people to accept this, to acknowledge that I was simply writing about what I thought or had experienced, not what I asked anyone else to think, and to understand that I was not trying to set a standard in anyone else’s life.

However, it has come to my attention that several people have either misunderstood or have thought themselves better than my rather simple request. I have received plenty of emails, blocked several comments, and have even been told by word of mouth how unfavorable one of my most recent pieces, titled, "I'm Back" was. I personally find it sad and quite ridiculous that most of these emails, comments, and such have chosen to remain anonymous. I do not have a problem addressing your comments or concerns, but I will say that I have a problem with the way people think they can talk to, or about, me, while essentially hiding in the process.

Let’s be honest, people will judge you every day for the rest of your life. Some might know you, others might not, but regardless, you will be judged.

People also may cuss at you from time to time, some might know you, and others might not.

Likewise, some people may hurt you. Again, regardless of if you know them or not.

I have experienced and accepted these truths plenty of times. I know what it’s like to, sadly, be on both sides of these misfortunes. Lately though, I have found myself more often on the hurting side of every point. I understand that hurt is a part of life that everyone must experience and that we all cause it, but that doesn’t mean it is any more pleasant each time we experience it.

Because of this, I have been consistent in not allowing certain comments to be posted on my pieces, and have avoided responding to several emails. I have taken what I hear people say and chosen to ignore it or have chosen not to respond. Either way, this does not mean I don’t have to hear or read these things. It does not take away the sting of hurtful words, it does not erase the constant worry about what others may think, and it certainly does not encourage my desire to blog. When I receive an email or listen to someone rant about how much they dislike me and the things I have to say, I force myself to accept it all with a grain of salt. And unless you have been in the same position several times, you will never understand how hard that is.

I was worried about posting today because I know that some people will write me off for being “dramatic”, “too emotional”, “too attached”, “full of myself”, “ignorant”, and so forth, but I forced myself to post to let you all know that I am beyond caring.

I have told you plenty of times before that I didn’t care what anyone thinks or says, that I will still be blogging my opinions, regardless of the topic.

(I still receive plenty of topics each week and request for more posts, so don’t tell me nobody cares to hear anymore.)

Even so, I am tired of opening my inbox every day and being beaten over and over again for something that I warned you about. I will continue to post such pieces, maybe in spite of you, maybe for therapy for myself, and I hope you learn to either hold your tongue or be more of a decent human being and trying not to hide your face behind an anonymous title. I will acknowledge comments, questions, and concerns from those who are bold enough to address me themselves, as themselves, for themselves, and will take what they have to say in stride.

As simple as it sounds, I do request common curtesy from this point forward, and I have no problem not limiting what I have to say because of a few childish, bad eggs.

With that, I wish everyone a good week and I hope to post again this Friday.

#MoreThan4

Today, the NCI Selfie Campaign began at 10 a.m. EDT. The campaign is designed to get the attention of the National Cancer Institute (NCI) and advocate for better funding for childhood cancer research. The NCI currently only invests 4% of it's research budget on childhood cancer research, even though it has been proven that childhood cancer is biologically different from adult cancers.
Today I posted my #MoreThan4 selfie on every social media site that I have. If you would like to print out the poster you can go to www.tinyurl.com/ncimorethan4 , or make your own. Along with posting to social media, tagging @theNCI and using the hashtag #MoreThan4 , feel free to email NCIadvocacy@mail.nih.org. I did! And since I am just now deciding to make this into a blog post, I decided to just show you what I sent off to the NCI and wanted to encourage you to show your support and do the same! So with that, here is my email from earlier:

"National Cancer Institute:

On behalf of the 46 children in the United States that will be told they have cancer today, the 7 children in the United States that will die from cancer today, and the 50,000 children that are in hospitals fighting cancer today, I would like to say that 4% is not enough.

Research proves that childhood cancer is biologically different from adult cancers. However, your institute continuously invests only 4% of your research budget specifically on childhood cancer. How is that acceptable? How can you be okay with that?

If it was your child who was diagnosed with cancer, would you still be okay with that? Would you still be okay with seeing the facts about childhood cancer and not doing anything more to change them?

I would like to know that my tax dollars are paying for something more than a slap in the face to thousands of children and their families. Please, make difference.

Thank you for your time,

Bailey McCarvel Plympton

"

Please consider posting a #MoreThan4 selfie and join many others in prayer and determination to see NCI funding for childhood cancer raised from 4%.

Generation... Why?

I recently read an article about my generation, Generation Y. There are many names given to the generation of people born in between 1982 and 2000, but for post purposes, I am going to refer to this generation as Generation Why.

The article that I read is the following:

"Who Are the Millennials?

Douglas Main, LiveScience Staff Writer

Teenagers and twenty-somethings have been dubbed the Millennial Generation, or simply Millennials. But what does it mean?

Generation Y definition

The term Millennials generally refers to the generation of people born between the early 1980s and the early 2000s. Perhaps the most commonly used birth range for this group is 1982-2000. The Millennial Generation is also known as Generation Y, because it comes after Generation X — those people between the early 1960s and the 1980s. It has also been called the Peter Pan or Boomerang Generation because of the propensity of some to move back in with their parents, perhaps due to economic constraints, and a growing tendency to delay some of the typical adulthood rites of passage like marriage or starting a career.

The publication Ad Age was one of the first to coin the term "Generation Y," in an editorial in August 1993. But the term didn't age well, and "Millennials" has largely over taken it. But the terms basically mean the same thing. 

Millennials characteristics

Millennials have been characterized in a number of different ways. On the negative side, they've been described as lazy, narcissistic and prone to jump from job to job. The 2008 book "Trophy Kids" by Ron Alsop discusses how many young people have been rewarded for minimal accomplishments (such as mere participation) in competitive sports, and have unrealistic expectations of working life.

A story in Time magazine said polls show that Millennials "want flexible work schedules, more 'me time' on the job, and nearly nonstop feedback and career advice from managers." Another Time story in May 2013 was harsher. Titled "The Me Me Me Generation," it begins: "They’re narcissistic. They’re lazy. They’re coddled. They’re even a bit delusional. Those aren’t just unfounded negative stereotypes about 80 million Americans born roughly between 1980 and 2000. They’re backed up by a decade of sociological research."

One 2012 study found Millennials to be "more civically and politically disengaged, more focused on materialistic values, and less concerned about helping the larger community than were GenX (born 1962-1981) and Baby Boomers (born 1946 to about 1961) at the same ages," according to USA Today. "The trend is more of an emphasis on extrinsic values such as money, fame, and image, and less emphasis on intrinsic values such as self-acceptance, group affiliation and community." The study was based on an analysis of two large databases of 9 million high school seniors or entering college students.
They have also been described in positive ways. They are generally regarded as being more open-minded, and more supportive of gay rights and equal rights for minorities. Other positives adjectives to describe them include confident, self-expressive, liberal, upbeat and receptive to new ideas and ways of living.

Generation Me

There is a spirited, if not tiresome, debate about whether Millennials are self-entitled narcissists or open-minded do-gooders; surely the truth lies somewhere in-between. Generally, however, there does seem to be more of an emphasis on the self than in previous generations, one reason why this group has been called Generation Me.

Other scholars have pointed out that the attempt to make generalizations about an entire generation is a futile effort. Further, some have suggested that discussion of "Millennials" tends to focus on mostly white youth from suburban areas, ignoring the unique experience of immigrants and minorities.
Email Douglas Main or follow him on Twitter or Google+. Follow us @livescience, Facebook or Google+."

Now, how does that make you feel? The sad thing is, I don't see much that I can even argue with in this entire article. I obviously know people my age, and I can't say I approve of all of them. The thing is, we ARE too entitled. We have been allowed to think that we deserve and need to be given everything as soon as we want it. I know you can debate about how it might be our parent's (Generation X) fault, but I really don't see it that way. Out of any other generation, we have the most reasons to be thankful, but somehow we are the most prone to suicide, theft, recreational drug use, murder, obesity, and alcohol abuse. Does this add up to anyone else? Our parent's, their parent's, and so on had to fight for what they wanted. Our ancestors, if you will, had to strive day in and day out to get a good education, stay healthy, earn a living, care for their families, and have the liberties they desired.

You wanna know what you're doing? You're sitting around, complaining about how the world is so unfair, and not being willing to lift a finger to do anything about it. I think it's humorous to hear a younger person complain about homosexuality, separation of church and state, rights to bear arms, and so forth, when they aren't willing to change themselves and speak up (no, Facebook and Twitter posts do not count as "taking a stand"). Young people aren't willing to stand up for our Country, as screwed up as it may be. You all want to sit there and complain about how awful America is and how horrible American's are, but you aren't willing to support the facts that America is still the most fair and reasonable country out there. News flash, if you can't handle America or the people in it, for whatever reason, how about you take on Russia? Or China? Or South Africa? Exactly, you couldn't. You have no idea what it is like to give up everything, literally everything, to survive. This doesn't mean going without cable for a few months, this means dropping out of school when you're ten because your dad and uncle just died in war and your pregnant mother, who works three jobs already, can't make enough money to buy a can of beans and needs your help. Dramatic you say? Well, ask your grandpa how realistic that was for his generation. Not even that, how common it was.

Or girls, how about being spit at and kicked around like garbage because you asked to vote or work outside the home? Yeah, that was legit, within the last 100 hundred years in America, and to this day, in other parts of the world. But look at you now, complaining because you don't get free condoms as often as you would like. Wow. Way to pick a worthy battle to fight.

I know I'm stepping on many toes here, but I don't care. Someone needs to wake you up and I can tell by knowing enough people in my generation, that there aren't many of you that are willing to sound the wake-up call. I won't apologize for "being rough" on you, welcome to reality. Life isn't ever fair and you have to try to succeed. Crazy, I know, but be happy that you know if you'll eat dinner tonight or not.
As poor as we want to make American's out to be, it doesn't change the fact that we are SO FAR AWAY from the state we were in during the Great Depression.



...So get off your end, make a difference, or keep your mouth shut. Much thanks.