A woman was standing in line with her grocery cart fairly full of things such as bread, eggs, cereal, oatmeal, sandwich baggies, orange juice, chicken, celery, and so-forth. The woman in line ahead of her was just getting two frozen pizzas. The woman with quite a bit of groceries (we'll call her Woman #1 for now) received a phone call while the woman ahead of her (Woman #2, if you will), was getting ready to pay. Woman #1 was on the phone talking with one of her children (who I assume might have gotten sick or hurt at school) and was apologizing for not being able to pick them up from school thirty minutes early, because she wouldn't have enough gas money to drive to other places within the next week.
After Woman #2 paid and left, Woman #1 got up to the front of the line and carefully watched her total increase with each item scanned, making sure she had enough to cover the grand total. As soon as the clerk scanned the last item, Woman #1's receipt began to print and the clerk smiled, saying, "Have a good day. The woman in line before you said to, 'Just pay it forward'". Woman #1 thanked the clerk with tears running down her cheeks and said, "I will! And now I'm going to have gas money to get my kids from school".
After this had happened and I had made my way to the front of the line I was in, I took a moment to look around. The next scene I watched seemed to be a very simple act of kindness, but got me thinking all the same.
Two people were walking into the store as another person was walking out. The first person to reach the door held it open while the others went on there way after offering their "thank you"'s.
I smiled to myself as I realized that this gentleman who held the door was not specifically going out of his way to help someone he didn't know, like the woman in the first mentioned scene, but was just doing something natural to him. I then thought of various times I held the door for another person or had the door held for me and realized that all were done because it's "just what you do", nothing more. However, as soon as I had told myself that it "just happens", and "people just look out for one another", I quickly remembered a time where I had thanked a soldier for his service to his country and he looked at me rather shocked. I remember him saying, "Thank you... For thanking me, I mean. It might seem crazy to you, as I assume you've lived in Montana your whole life, but soldiers don't get thanked as often as you might think. It definitely depends on which side of the US you're in, that's for sure." This statement troubled me, and so have other statements such as this one, about people acting differently towards each other based on which area or state you're in.
My questions of the day are, "Is it just me? Are people more kind than others because they grew up in a different part of the US? Are we being taught as a society, as a people, to fend for ourselves, or to help the less fortunate? Because I say 'I'm sorry' when I bump into someone while walking through a busy store or down the street, am I considered polite, normal, or too soft? As I'm going about my normal day, is it normal or strange to smile and say 'hi' to anyone in passing?"
I feel as if these questions should be easy to answer, but at the same time I'm worried that if I try, my answer will not be appropriate.
I want to just take a few moments to go over some of the things I think of as "normal" and try to view them in different ways.
Is holding a door open for another person(s) old school or not? When I walk up to a door and a man is walking with me, is it okay to assume that he will be the first to reach for the door and hold it open as I walk through? Should I expect that nobody will hold a door for me and accept that I'm not expected to hold a door for anyone either?
These questions might seem silly to a lot of people, but I have learned to look at them with serious contemplation and regard. I think that the easiest way to answer this question, (and by easy I mean I thought about it for like fort-five minutes before coming up with what I think is an appropriate answer) is to say this: Depending on a very long list of situations, locations, dates, and people, I think that YES we should open the door for one another, and YES men should be doing this more frequently than woman (now, now pro-modern day feminists, it wouldn't kill you if another woman held the door for you so you'll be fine if a man does and NO I'm not saying that you aren't capable, I'm just saying it's nice and you'll get over it), and quite frankly, I shouldn't be expecting anything from anyone, but I shouldn't be completely blown out of the water when someone holds a door for me either. Dangit people, it's like 2 more seconds of standing, you're not going to die from it.
Secondly, thanking our soldiers for their service...
This is a big deal for me and I don't think it should even be a question of rather or not we do this. If you see a soldier, especially in uniform, you better have the decency to thank him or her for their service. It's not something we should be overlooking; these people were/are willing to sacrifice absolutely everything for you. For what? So that they could be overlooked and under appreciated? I hope not.
Lastly, being willing to give...
I think that this last answer has to come from you, because I can't answer for everyone. This question will not just make some think, but will also question a person's standards, ethics, and convictions. I believe, for myself, that I need to learn to give without question, with a happy heart, and a gracious spirit. I believe that people and society take enough, and so hurriedly, that it wouldn't hurt to give a bit back here and there. I believe that every day should be a day of giving and thankful hearts, because at some point in time, someone gave an awful lot for you to be breathing today.
